INTUITIVE SLEEP

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I lock doors  Check them again
in case   I close curtains
Gaps in the seams make it easy
for an intruder to pry  I shut
every internal door   I wear
a tracksuit and socks to bed
and sneakers on the floor lie
beside me  The axe is hidden
within arms reach  I wrap my body
in the bedsheets   Pin them under
my stomach  My neck is bent
I close one eye on the pillow
Keep the other eye open

I pray  I pray  I pray   In my mind
I hear a voice   The one that says
You are safe now  You are okay
You can sleep  I think it might be
God or my intuition or some stupid
mantra from a hypnosis CD   Or maybe
the universe is trying to tell me
something  Over and over  Like a
broken record  Words just words
Nothing but words and words can be lies

It assures me  You are safe   It promises me
Sweet dreams   I tell it to shut up
I grit my teeth    My jaw locks
I know it is not the voice of  Reason  Hope
Truth   But Rumi would tell me
Listen!   The neighbours’ dogs are
barking on both sides  I bunker down
into my comforter    Try to ignore who
or what the dogs might be snapping at

I try to forget being small
Back in that bed trembling all over    my eyes
wet as the door creaks open and the light
seeps in  You are safe now  You are
okay   And somewhere inside me
the child listens   I exhale   I loosen
the winding sheet   Stretch out and
in those moments before I succumb
to sleep  I am sure I can hear
Her soft breaths … A distant lullaby

– Wendy Beach c. 2016

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2 thoughts on “INTUITIVE SLEEP

  1. Aloha Wendy — I’m rough around the edges, a bit more honing wouldn’t hurt. As such I’m probably not your target reader –but – even I recognize good writing when I see it. Good job. — A Hui Hou, Wayne

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